North Pole, Alaska—December 20, 2024
In a shocking turn of events, Santa Claus – beloved holiday figure and CEO of Claus Enterprises – has been found guilty of violating all 10 of OSHA’s top workplace cited standards for 2024…and then some. The findings come after an unprecedented safety inspection of Santa’s workshop, sleigh bay and annual Christmas Eve operations.
The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has issued a scathing report detailing the infractions, which range from improper use of ladders to a complete disregard for respiratory protection. While Claus insists his methods are “time-honored traditions,” OSHA officials describe the North Pole operation as a “safety nightmare wrapped in a holiday bow.”
Tyfoom News 1 has exclusive access to the OSHA report detailing the violations.
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Santa Claus: Case File 1225-MC – OSHA Violations Investigation Log
Date: 20.12.2024
Subject: Claus, Santa
Known Aliases: St. Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, Old St. Nick, Papa Noel, Sinterklaas, Père Noël, Babbo Natale, Jolly Old Elf, Sleigh Daddy (used by Mrs. Claus only)
Incident Summary: Following numerous anonymous tips (possibly elves or disgruntled reindeer), a full investigation into subject’s compliance with OSHA standards has uncovered numerous violations as cited:
CASE LOG ENTRY 1: FALL PROTECTION – GENERAL (1926.501)
Observation: Subject was found precariously balancing on icy rooftops without guardrails or fall protection. Despite repeated warnings, he insisted, “The magic of Christmas keeps me steady.” Investigators noted no evidence of fall prevention or protection system.
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Install safety equipment and train for roof work. Suggest elf spotters or reindeer backups.
CASE LOG ENTRY 2: HAZARD COMMUNICATION (1910.1200)
Observation: The workshop chemical storage area lacked proper labeling. Investigators discovered unmarked barrels containing suspicious glowing liquids and candy cane-striped containers with no safety data sheets. Suspect downplayed these findings, claiming the substances were “mostly peppermint and cocoa.”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Label all containers clearly and provide elves with hazard training.
CASE LOG ENTRY 3: LADDERS (1926.1053)
Observation: Subject was observed using an outdated wooden ladder to scale chimneys and workshop shelves. The ladder lacked proper supports, was visibly warped and placed on an uneven snowdrift. Claus dismissed investigator concerns stating, “It’s been holding me up for centuries!”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Replace ladder with OSHA-compliant models; introduce basic ladder safety training.
CASE LOG ENTRY 4: RESPIRATORY PROTECTION (1910.134)
Observation: Subject routinely descends soot-filled chimneys without any form of respiratory protection. Claus reported enjoying the smell of chimney smoke because it reminds him of “baking cookies.”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Issue respirators and implement mandatory use during chimney work.
CASE LOG ENTRY 5: LOCKOUT/TAGOUT (1910.147)
Observation: Electric-powered workshop machinery was observed running during maintenance, with elves attempting to repair a conveyor belt while still active. Subject argued everyone is “on a tight deadline” and “Christmas waits for no one.”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Introduce lockout/tagout procedures for all personnel immediately.
CASE LOG ENTRY 6: POWERED INDUSTRIAL VEHICLES (1910.178)
Observation: The North Pole sleigh bay was a disaster zone, with subject observed zipping around on an experimental high-powered sleigh without proper certification. Additionally, Rudolph was seen attempting to operate a forklift without proper certification.
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Enforce proper certifications for all industrial vehicle operators, reindeer included.
CASE LOG ENTRY 7: FALL PROTECTION – TRAINING (1926.503)
Observation: Investigators questioned subject about training protocols. His response: “I teach the elves to believe in themselves!” A review of the workshop’s training logs showed no formal fall protection training. Several elves admitted they “just wing it.”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Schedule and complete fall protection training immediately.
CASE LOG ENTRY 8: SCAFFOLDING (1926.451)
Observation: During the construction process of toys for all the good children, elves were observed balancing on candy cane scaffolds held together with gumdrops. Subject defended the structure, calling it “festive and functional,” but investigators noted significant wobble and no safety railings.
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Replace candy canes with sturdy, OSHA-approved scaffolding materials.
CASE LOG ENTRY 9: PERSONAL PROTECTIVE & LIFESAVING EQUIPMENT – EYE AND FACE PROTECTION (1926.102)
Observation: Workshop employees were observed operating glitter cannons and sanding down toy parts without goggles. Multiple elves complained about “glitter blindness” and sawdust-related sneezing fits. Subject dismissed these complaints, stating, “Christmas sparkle never hurt anyone!”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Provide proper eye and face protection for all employees.
CASE LOG ENTRY 10: MACHINE GUARDING (1910.212)
Observation: The toy assembly line featured exposed gears, rotating belts and unguarded machinery. Subject insisted that “the elves are quick enough to avoid mishaps,” but one elf was observed narrowly escaping a tumble into the tin soldier punch press.
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Install appropriate guards on all machinery.
CASE LOG ENTRY 11: STRUCK-BY INCIDENTS (1926.950)
Observation: During the investigation, a serious struck-by incident was uncovered involving a high-profile victim: Grandma. Witnesses report that she was run over by one of the subject’s reindeer during a chaotic sleigh test run near the North Pole workshop. According to eyewitness accounts, the sleigh was overloaded and Claus was “in a hurry.” Grandma sustained life-threatening injuries and her family is now left to decide if they should open up her gifts or send them back.
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Establish clear safety protocols, including pedestrian-safe zones around all sleigh areas.
CASE LOG ENTRY 12: CAUGHT-IN/BETWEEN INCIDENTS (1926.651)
Observation: Subject became wedged between the flue walls of a chimney while delivering presents. Investigators determined that the chimney was not inspected for adequate clearance, violating all safe entry protocols. Claus’s bulky attire and oversized sack only increased the risk. He stated, “It’s a tight squeeze, but I’ve been doing this for centuries! Though maybe it’s time to cut back on the milk and cookies…”
Status: Non-compliant. Violation confirmed.
Recommended Action: Require pre-delivery inspections to ensure chimneys meet adequate clearance requirements.
Final Assessment
Compliance Level: Dangerously low.
Immediate Risks: Significant potential for injury or fatality among staff, including subject.
Recommendation: Immediate intervention required. Subject must implement a comprehensive safety program to protect workers, reindeer and himself.
END OF REPORT
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“Mr. Claus has accumulated so many violations, we will be monitoring him very closely,” said Frost J. Bite, a representative at OSHA. “We’ll know when he’s sleeping, we’ll know when he’s awake and we’ll be watching to see if he’s violating regulations. There’s no use pouting or crying. We’ll know if he’s been bad or good, so please Mr. Claus, get it together for goodness sake!”
What’s Next for the North Pole?
Claus may bring joy to the world, but his blatant disregard for safety regulations is tree-mendous. OSHA has given Claus Enterprises a January 1, 2025, deadline to address the violations. Until the North Pole comes into compliance, he remains at the top of OSHA’s naughty list.
If the North Pole fails to comply, operations could be temporarily shut down – a catastrophic prospect for the global holiday season.
Despite the violations, the elves and reindeer remain optimistic. “Santa always delivers,” said one elf. “If anyone can fix this, it’s him.”
Santa’s Response
In an official response to the investigation, Mr, Claus said the violations were “an unfortunate misunderstanding” and pledged to create a correction action plan to update Claus Enterprises’ safety policies and procedures.
Following a thorough review of available platforms, he selected Tyfoom to help manage Claus Enterprises’ training, communication and engagement needs.
Tyfoom agreed to donate the use of their platform to help Santa get off of OSHA’s naughty list.
“Christmas magic has kept us safe for centuries, but I recognize the importance of modern safety practices,” Claus said. “We’ll be working closely with Tyfoom to not only meet, but exceed OSHA requirements and make the workshop a safer place for everyone.”
For now, the world waits to see whether the jolly man in the red suit can clean up his act – or if Mrs. Claus with Santa’s Better Half, Co. will taking over toy delivery this year.
Until then, a Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good (and safe) night!
Want to learn how to get off OSHA’s naughty list? Schedule a meeting to speak with a Tyfoom training consultant today!